I Remember


Rather fittingly,  a love poem from Anne Sexton. I read this fondly:

I remember

By the first of August
the invisible beetles began
to snore and the grass was
as tough as hemp and was
no color—no more than
the sand was a color and
we had worn our bare feet
bare since the twentieth
of June and there were times
we forgot to wind up your
alarm clock and some nights
we took our gin warm and neat
from old jelly glasses while
the sun blew out of sight
like a red picture hat and
one day I tied my hair back
with a ribbon and you said
that I looked almost like
a puritan lady and what
I remember best is that
the door to your room was
the door to mine.

-Anne Sexton

On gossip and oppression: Q & A


Q: Is gossip be a form of oppression?

A: I am a bit weary of the idea that gossip, often associated with women, is something we should be criticized for. I think gossip can actually be a tool to fight oppression for many women.

Reminds me of an article I had read:
“At best, at most revolutionary, we can understand gossip as weaponized intimacy — as the power of marginalized communities to build guerilla information networks to keep ourselves and each other safe. In order to do this, we need to help each other discard forms of talking and thinking that blame each other and ourselves for our oppression, so that we may together have more space to thrive and grow.”

On rationality: Q & A


Q: How do you respond to the claim that rationalism is patriarchal?

A: What has helped me to understand + respond to these ideas, is exploring where the idea came from in the first place: in Western philosophy women have often been relegated to the private/familial/bodily/emotive spheres. Wherein, women don’t possess the rationality to exist in the public sphere of “citizen” or “person”. In this, the masculine public sphere became associated with rationality, wherein rationality was superior to the body/emotions (of which women were subsumed). The point, I might tell that person, is that this patriarchal understanding of rationality is not a full understanding of rationality at all. Rationality does not exist in a dichotomy — it is holistic. Rational people have emotions and bodies and logic, and it is because of this that they CAN become rational. In a sense; they aren’t wrong. Western rationality is patriarchal, however, this is a skewed understanding of what rationality is (and in this sense, you can argue, it isn’t rational at all).

On men


Olivia Laing says [and this is important]:

They hate art, women, the earth,

what the fuck do they like


— Oh, I hope it fills you

with indignation, the kind

that does not still


Because you remember the first time

you told her that you cared

-and you were both scared

and that was ok, because you meant it


And here was a way

for you to speak

what wasn’t meant for speaking

in a language that rolled

like honey

off a mother tongue sweet,

and strange


You knew soft-heartedness

and it fills you,

with indignation


In which case,

I would tell you,

we, are on the same side